I have been having powerful cravings lately. Every time I pass ginger at the superette (and aren’t they just rich, full, tender, beautifully young rhizomes right now) my whole body lights up and I think Oh, how I want ginger tea right this minute! Of course, I’ve put it off and put it off, but I picked up a big piece of ginger the other day and this afternoon, when I got off work, I stopped by Dragon’s Den to pick up some fresh turmeric (which, for those of you who aren’t familiar with it, looks similar to ginger but is a rich orange rather than tan and is completely delicious).
I sliced about two inches of each, put them in the bottom of a pre-warmed teapot, poured boiling water over the lot, and let it steep, covered, for 30 minutes. Now, I am sitting on my couch in the rain, sipping hot and spicy deliciousness, and my whole body is going yes, Yes, YES! Turmeric is rumored to be good for pain, and my body is really stoked on this tea, so I’m going to try to drink a good amount for a while and see what happens.
So many things to be grateful for right now. So many things to be excited about.
I am having really strong visions of the next period of my life. The details are a bit fragile and shy, but they involve loving community and chickens and medicinal herbs growing in my backyard and having an excuse to put my hands on people and being happy and in love and alive.
I’m also having this whole “put medicine back in the hands of the people” thing going on right now. Working on the goat farm, where it’s a given that we know our goats better than our vet does, and we’re better equipped to diagnose and treat 99% of their illnesses than he is, I feel all medically empowered and passionate. Why can’t we have that for humans? I’ve also been thinking about “Where There Is No Doctor”–a book about health care geared toward people in rural areas who don’t have access to doctors. The thing is? With the state of our health care system, though where I live in America we are surrounded by doctors, so many people can’t actually access health care because of the prohibitive cost and bureaucratic bullshit built into our medical system. We need that book almost as much as people who live in places where there are literally no doctors. These ideas aren’t anything new, but they have some sweet vitality in me right now, which I value.
My body has been feeling really toxic lately. I’m in such a tremendous amount of pain all the time that my energy gets sapped, I feel like crying, and I eventually shut down in overwhelm. I take a good amount of pain medications–which don’t relieve my pain, but make it possible for me to get through a day (albeit sometimes it’s a grouchy, cantankerous day). This is how I’ve gotten through the last ten years, but my liver and kidneys have been aching pretty consistently for the last few weeks, so I’d like to give my body a break. I’ve been drinking dandelion tea, which feels like it’s helping my body process all the nsaids, but I still feel yucked out.
I was passionately craving the dandelion for a while before I really thought about its medicinal value, and same with this ginger and turmeric. So maybe something good will come of this hunger.
I’m feeling similarly about my meat consumption. I eat an unsustainable amount of meat, regardless of how it was raised. (Ideally, I would like to consume primarily meat that I harvested myself–or that was processed by someone I know personally–but I’m not there yet.) Moreover, it’s making me feel more dense and slowed-down than I would like. I’m thinking about eating much less meat or even going vegetarian for a while. I am definitely not eating enough fresh fruits and vegetables, there’s not enough variety in my diet, and the energy of my food isn’t supporting my body and soul the way I know it sometimes can. When I have tried to be vegetarian/vegan in the past, I felt really faint all the time, but I’m starting to think that if I ate often enough, I might find a way to feel okay.
There are so, so many things I want to do–from all sorts of cooking, gardening, and animal husbandry ideas to art I want to make to places I want to invest my energy and so on–and again and again I come up against the fact that I simply do not have the energy or emotional resources because of intense chronic pain.
I’m making it my mission to find simple, affordable ways to support and nourish my body in this next phase of my life. There is so much I’m passionate about and I need every ounce of energy I can get.
Some things that do nourish me physically:
* eating regularly and healthfully, especially breakfast
* getting enough sleep
* stretching
* being touched
* using a mobility aid
* blissfully delicious sex
* minimizing stress
* regular baths
* being joyful and grateful and in love with the world
* feeding my soul with touch, essential oils, flower essences, and ritual
I’m doing really well with some of that list, and not so well with a few items.
Caring for my body is something I really want to prioritize going forward. This sweet body is the only one I have and it has been here for me through some really tough times, yet I mostly ignore it. I would like to love myself by actively caring for and nourishing my body.